"I Can't"

Artificial Limits

“Sometimes, we're so blocked in a particular area we don't even consider a breakthrough a possibility. We're so blocked we don't even see our blocks. Stay open. Don't limit yourself. Something that yesterday seemed entirely unfeasible and forever beyond your grasp may tomorrow, next month, next year—or today—become something you can do naturally, something that's available to you.”

Melody Beattie (Journey to the Heart, p.85)

I'm not a runner. There was a time in my life when I did run, but I turned my ankle once, a long time ago, so I stopped running. Over time, I've convinced myself that I cannot run. I have never been a traveler. I don't travel alone, though I know many people who do. I limit myself in that way because of an inner voice that says, “I can't. I wouldn't like it. It wouldn't be fun.” How do I know I won't like something unless I try it?

I regularly attend art shows, and enjoy looking at other people's work. Recently, an artist who'd seen my banners told me, “You should get out your paints and brushes and get busy. You already have an understanding of color and form. You'd be good at it.” Once again, I measure myself against someone I see as better than me, as gifted at what they do, and automatically put myself out of the race. “I couldn't possibly paint like that,” I tell myself. I wonder if you limit yourself in this way, too.

We set these limits on ourselves because we are afraid to fail, because we might not be the “best,” and because we might, God forbid, look stupid trying. We do it because we're simply afraid of taking risks. There are real and valid risks in this world—you stand a pretty good chance of being buried in an avalanche if you go skiing in soft, wet snow. You probably won't make it to the top of Mount Everest if you have asthma. It's unlikely that you will be able to swim the English Channel on your first try—which carries the risk of drowning—in very cold water. Yikes! And if you go walking in a war zone, you stand a pretty good chance of getting shot or blown up. But limits we place on ourselves because we're afraid to fail are simply psychological blocks—they have no basis in reality. And just because we tried it once and failed does not mean that we will always fail. When I start giving myself limiting messages, I go to Lakeshore Training Facility and watch paraplegic athletes play wheelchair rugby. It'll make you feel small and cowardly.

Today, don't let your fears limit you. Strike out in spite of them. Who knows what new strengths you may discover.

                                                            In the Spirit,

                                                               Jane