Emptiness
“Sometimes
it's best to just be empty—to think empty thoughts, to feel empty
feelings, to have a day, or a week, or a month full of emptiness.
That way, when you're ready to fill up again, there's plenty of
space.”
In this busiest of all
seasons, I like to think about emptiness—about fallow periods,
about endings with stretches of time before beginnings. Some of us
experience this as a threat. We fear having empty space and time when
nothing happens—it's like writer's block, or when an artist lacks a
muse for inspiration. It can happen when the end of a relationship
carves a big hole in our lives, and we have no idea how to fill it.
It feels like falling off a cliff without knowing how long it will be
before you land.
Others of us, however,
seek out this time of emptiness. We realize, as Henri Nouwen put it,
“we are too much in the world.” The world's craziness has
overtaken us and possessed us like an evil spirit. It's hard to shake
that off if you do not leave the fray. To claim a period of quiet
reflection is not easy when one is caught up in the minutia of
everyday. We need to rest. We need to rest not only our bodies, but
also, our minds. Jesus realized this about the people of his day. He
said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy
burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn
from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest
for your souls.” (Matt. 11:28-30)
In case you think that
one would have to be truly depressed to contemplate emptiness, let
me say that rest for the soul a good way to cure depression. Our
brains get tired, too. Too much worry and fretting. Too many stress
chemicals causing restless nights with little or no sleep. Our
thoughts are muddled, our minds feel fuzzy. That's a recipe for
depression. We need an empty space to heal.
A friend of mine, who had
witnessed a number of deaths among her loved ones in a short period
of time, just spent a month in an efficiency apartment at the beach.
It was small, but sat right on the Gulf, with views of water all
around. She did not “do” anything. She sat on the beach or the
balcony above the beach, and watched the water and waited for her
head to clear. And clear it did. I realize that not all of us can go
to the beach for a month, even on the off-season. I couldn't either,
but we could take a weekend, or a week to close the door and take a
break from the demands of the world. We could give our souls a rest.
When emptiness comes
calling, invite it in. Brush off a seat, sit down, and wait for its
teachings. Spirit floats like a feather in the wind; it is “gentle
and humble of heart.” If we allow it to lead, we will likely be
carried to unexpected places. Only emptiness creates plenty of space
for filling up again.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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