Good
People
“A
memorable heart is the easiest way to immortality.”
Suzy
Kassem (Rise Up and Salute the Sun)
My friend, Garvice, told
me yesterday about a story he had seen on TV about everyday heroes.
It featured a woman who noticed how much food restaurants throw away
at the end of the day; food, she reckoned, that could be used to feed people in
homeless shelters. She set up a website that allowed restaurant
owners to list their remaining food so that shelters could claim it and then come and pick it up. I believe she called it Access. That is
such an heroic act for someone who has the skills to set up such a
site. What a gift to the homeless community!
I had a conversation with
my son, Ian, recently about what is expected of good people. He said
he realized that he had all the advantages—a good mind, a great
education, a healthy body, and that he “should be doing something
with his life.” I recognized that thought instantly, because it was
the one I'd carried around all of my life. I grew up with two
sisters who had disabilities, and so did Ian's father. Each of us was
the only so-called “normal” child in our families. I always
thought there must be some cosmic reason I had been spared from the
fate of my sisters—there was something I was supposed to do to
justify such mercy. So, I spent most of my professional life working
with people with disabilities. Unfortunately, it didn't result in
the abatement of the feeling that there was something I should be
doing that I wasn't. I wonder if you have similar feelings.
Most of us want to be
better than we think we are. We hold the notion that other people have huge,
life-altering altruism, and make enormous contributions to society,
and that they are different and better than us. We tell
ourselves that we are not doing enough good because we are too lazy,
or too self-absorbed, or some other belittling notion. Like Ian, we
should be “doing something with our lives,” that we are not
doing. I want to stick a pin in that balloon. I don't believe that we
have to “do good” on a grand scale to be good people—nor do we
have to justify the air that we breathe or the food we eat. Being
kind, and gracious, and generous with the gifts with which we're
endowed is enough. We can do good on a small scale and that, too, is
an enormous contribution to society. In other words, you don't have
to find a cure for AIDS or Ebola, you don't have to feed the
thousands, or rescue people from burning buildings to be an everyday
hero. If you have those skills, then by all means use them, but if
you don't have them, then find the niche where you fit and do that.
That is what is required of you—give what you have to give, do what
you are able to do, and live your life with respect and appreciation
for your ability to do that.
I found a quote by Lailah
Gifty Akita, which reads, “Little things done with love are much
better that big things done without love.” Sometimes, just
being present with another person is the best gift of all. Listening,
laughing, looking into their eyes, offering good conversation and
genuine love—that's what a good person does. That's what we “should
be doing with our lives.”
In the Spirit,
Jane
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