Love Is...
“We are
not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. We are not love
machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called 'love.' Love is a
choice—not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice—but rather a
willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love
is a conversion to humanity—a willingness to participate with
others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives.”
Isobel
Carter Heyward
I don't know about you,
but I grew up steeped in the notion that some love is automatic—like
love of children and parents—and some is helplessly melting, like
for a kitten or a puppy—and some comes as a stroke out of the
blue—like love at first sight. Unfortunately, none of that is true.
I have known parents who couldn't stand their offspring, and children
who loathed their parents. I, myself, took one dog to the pound
because I hated him, and I have lived long enough to know that love
at first sight is usually blind as a bat. Love is not mushy gravy
where your heart puddles and is overwhelmed by emotion. Love is a
working verb. And, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes nothing in us wants
to be loving; we have to override our resistance, hold our noses and
just do it anyway.
Authentic love is nothing
like the Hollywood version of smitten dissolution in which two become
one, never to be individuals again. Love is a health care worker,
decked out in hazard gear, wading into a camp full of Ebola. It is a
Cajun with a boat, hauling strangers out of their flooded homes in
South Carolina. It is a first responder risking life and limb to save
an old woman and her dog from the flames. Love is a grandfather going
into a Neonatal Intensive Care unit to hold babies instead of
spending his golden years on a golf course. It is you, when you sit
with a friend and listen to their grief without flinching or making
excuses. Love is cooking dinner when you don't want to. It is giving
up your weekend to sit in the cold at the soccer field so your child
can play an away-game—or in a waiting room at the hospital while a
friend's surgery is in progress.
Love is as tough as
nails. It is a choice of lifestyle. It is devotion to oneself and
one's soul-work. It is all that matters in this human existence. It
is what we are here for.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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