Learning
to Trust
“In the
end, you have to choose whether or not to trust someone.”
Sophie
Kinsella
For some of us, trust is
hard to come by. If we grew up in a household of people who were unreliable, we learned early and well not to believe anything we're
told. We faced the world with suspicion from the outset. Trust is
also easy to lose, and once lost, can hardly ever be fully regained.
When trust is broken, even when we do everything in our power to mend
the hoop, a taint remains that leaves us guarded and uncertain. Being
trustworthy, then, is critical to every good relationship, and when
broken, very often undermines that relationship forever. The worst
tragedy, however, is not the lost relationship, but the lost ability
to trust.
I believe that trust is
fundamental to spiritual development. Our relationship to Divine
Source is one in which we must learn to trust if we are to move
toward our goal of self-actualization. The first rung on that ladder
is understanding that our way is not always God's way. If we lose
trust the first time our wishes are not granted, we're in trouble.
Source is not a fairy godmother. So, for me, trust is not an
ask-and-expect-to-get-what-you-want kind of thing. Trust is the
underlying foundation that allows you to ask in the first place. The
tricky parts are (1) ask, and (2) don't be attached to the outcome. In
other words, trust that you are heard and that there will be a
response, though it may not be what you expected.
Ernest Hemingway said,
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust
them.” If we can face life with trust, and not be devastated
when that trust is dashed, then we are halfway there. Even though we
know that not everyone is trustworthy, and that we ourselves are not
always trustworthy, holding trust as the way forward is simply better
than trying to negotiate the world with suspicion as our guide. It
makes for a happier, more optimistic life. Your ability to trust
belongs solely to you. Don't let anyone take it away.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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