The Family
“Jia Ren
literally means 'house people.' It refers to all the members of a
household...The basic theme of the hexagram is that when all of the
members of the family have their appropriate relationships to one
another, the family is well ordered and will be at peace.”
Jack M.
Balkin (The Laws of Change: I Ching and the Philosophy of Life,
p.390)
It is not surprising that
when I randomly opened the I Ching this morning, the hexagram was
#37—The Family. I spent yesterday in outpatient surgery with my
son, Jake, while he had sinuplasty—the second of two planned
surgeries. Everything went well until his lungs didn't want to clear
fluid after the airway was removed, and his blood-oxygen saturation
was too low. Also, one eye was dilated and non-responsive. We spent
all day with a very concerned and involved medical team, and went
from there to see a friend, John Owen, who is an ophthalmologist, to
make sure the eye dilation was a product of medication and not
because he'd had a stroke. To say the least, it was a nail-biter of a
day. Just so you know, Jake's doing well this morning—still zonked,
but up and moving and breathing normally. Our families are both the
best thing we have in our lives, and the one thing that can stomp us
flat in a heartbeat.
According to The Laws of
Change, “family is a metaphor and model for virtually all other
forms of social organization.” Each member of the family has
specific duties and relationships. In case you are getting your
hackles up thinking I'm talking about gender-based role models, take
a breath. I'm not. It is simply that we all have strengths and
weaknesses; for instance, some of us are more adept at care-giving
than others. All of us have skills that are much needed in our home, and in our community. In ancient Chinese society,
everyone, male and female, was subordinate to someone or something
else—yin to someone else's yang. When we refuse to live from our
strengths, we have less to offer to the family, and to the community.
In essence, we operate from a position of weakness, which
automatically places us in a subordinate position. If what I have to
offer is excellent care-giving skills, whether I am a man or a woman,
then to withhold those is not only a loss to my family and my
community, but puts me in a deficit position.
“If you want to have
a positive effect on others, you must lead by example. Trust and
reciprocity must be established by your actions as well as your
words.” (Balkin, p.393) If you know what your strengths are and
use them, and you will always have something to offer. If we encourage others to function from their strengths, we will
always have something to receive. This leads to peace and contentment
in both family and community.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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