Get
Naked
“It's
easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the
time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your
spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams...that is naked.”
Rob Bell
Almost always, when we
speak of intimacy, people automatically think of sex. And don't get
me wrong, sex can be a beautifully intimate experience. But it can
also be a momentary release with no emotion attached. Sex can be had
with complete strangers--and often is. Intimacy cannot—although I've had some
fairly intimate conversations with people I will never see again.
This seems to happen at cocktail parties and on airplanes. I'll
bet you know exactly what I mean.
Intimacy requires
nakedness—not of the body, but of the soul. When we are real in
every way, when we are playing no games of manipulation or power,
when we are exposing our beating heart with all it's fears and
desires—that is intimacy. If we are fortunate, there are one or two
people in our lives with whom we can be this intimate.
I believe that one of the
reasons we have such outrageous rates of depression, addiction and
suicide is this lack of true intimacy. Instead, we have honed our
ability to make social conversation in which we ask the “right”
questions, and give the “right” answers, and hopefully in a
clever and humorous way. We can entertain one another until the cows
come home, but when conversation turns intimate, we begin to squirm
and withdraw.
It is only the kind of
intimacy that gives others, and yourself, a little glimpse of your
soul that fills the holes and gaps in our psyches and in our
relationships. All the drugs and alcohol in the world cannot do that.
Intimate conversation can help us to clarify what we are truly
feeling and thinking, what we hope for and fear. Sometimes we don't
know until we hear ourselves say it. Some folks are starting
conversation groups to explore the frontiers of intimate connection.
They report feeling less lonely, more known for who they are. I hope
you have friends you can get naked with—but, please, leave your
clothes on.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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