Be Yourself

Embrace Your Strangeness

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frighting or strange that self may be.”
May Sarton

Back in the 1980's, Billy Joel wrote a song titled, “You May Be Right,” that contained these lines:

“You may be right,
I may be crazy
But it just might be a lunatic your looking for.
Turn out the light,
don't try to save me
you may be wrong for all I know
but you may be right.”

In these times, here on planet Earth, I think we need to be a little bit crazy just to get through the day. I don't mean to cast aspersions on people with mental illness—I've had major depression myself and know how painful and hopeless it feels. But I think it helps from time to time to look at our own strangeness and appreciate just how warped we are. Or at least, I am. A therapist friend mentioned to me how “normal” people see the world, and my question was, “Can you define normal?” She said that normal people get through their day without being overcome by neurotic thoughts. Here are a few neurotic thoughts—What will they think of me? Why doesn't she like me? I am a total screw-up. How did I get to be such a dummy? The whole world is trying to bring me down. I am such an asset to this company that it couldn't exist without me. And here's the one most of us suffer from—He/she needs me. Do you ever entertain such thoughts? I do.

It isn't unusual to have neurotic thoughts unless you are unaware that they're neurotic and let them rule your life. Having the ability to laugh at yourself is essential. When you don't understand that the whole world isn't looking at you, and judging you, and revolving around you, then you're set up to have a miserable life. I tell myself, “Get over yourself! Nobody cares what you look like. Just be yourself.” It's good advice. It helps me not to waste time primping and coiffing and making up as though I'm going to the royal wedding everyday. Which is not to say that anyone should become slovenly. But it begs the question, “Why am I doing this, and who am I doing it for?”

Growing into one's own skin takes time, and most of all, it takes consciousness. We put way too much emphasis on how pleasing our outsides look, and not nearly enough on how our insides feel. Are you comfortable with who you are, or are you constantly trying to change who you are? How much energy do you put into pleasing others and trying to fit in, instead of standing squarely in your own way of being in the world. Life is lots more interesting, and so much happier when we embrace our particular brand of craziness and learn to love it. Today, breathe inside your own bones, and know that you are good enough just the way you are.

In the Spirit,
Jane