Next Lifetime or Now?

Deep Dreams

“Build a bridge then go across it.
Live to light a brand new day.
Eyes as open as an eagle’s.
Cross to bear, time to play.
Supple sword cuts new beginnings,
forms a lifetime out of clay.
Maker makes and then concludes us,
gives us birth and death each day.
Jane Philips ‘95

A friend said to me, “In my next lifetime, I’m going to be an architect.” She then designed a boat house with a studio above it. It sits at lake's edge and is complete with claw-footed bathtub and antique iron bed—a reflection of her yearning to create. I wonder why we need to wait until our “next lifetime” to do what fires our souls. What keeps us from taking seriously the pastimes that are most expressive of our truth.

Two comments sometimes spoken to me that I always dither about: “I didn’t know your were an artist!” and, “You write well, have you considered writing a book?” I find myself making excuses and explanations as to why that's not the case. One would think I’d done something criminal. Yet writing and art have been a constant in my life for as long as I can remember. They calm me and allow me to express the soul of a very shy person. Any time my heart is troubled or overflowing, I grab a box of colored pencils and a journal and allow the colors and words to explain to me what I am feeling and why.

One of the great boons of aging is discovering that time is very precious. This awareness usually comes full blown when someone close in age dies. It dawns on us that we too are mortal, and that if there is something we really want to do, we'd better get busy. Often people travel. They make bucket lists of things to see before they die and then check off as they go. Some of us view it as a time to do the soul-expressing things that until now we've considered a lark—something fun but not productive—in the middle of “real life.” Now, it feels essential to allow these other expressions of self, the ones we put off until our “next lifetime,” to come into the real world, and be acknowledged as valid.

Every single one of us has an authentic means of expressing what is within. Getting past the self-criticism and doubt is half the battle. We are entrenched as a culture in the belief that everything we devote ourselves to has to be “productive.” It must generate money to have value. It's such a shame. This belief has made lollygagging and daydreaming akin to sloth and gluttony—deadly sins. Being driven to compete from birth til death is a soul-slaying mistake. Allowing time for your soul to speak may be the most productive thing you'll ever do. What are your deepest dreams? How do you give them life?

In the Spirit,
Jane