Life Is.

Life Stages

“I never intended to have this life, believe me—
It just happened. You know how dogs turn up
At a farm, and they wag but can’t explain.

It’s good if you can accept life—you’ll notice
Your face has become deranged trying to adjust
To it. Your face thought your life would look

Like your bedroom mirror when you were ten.
That was a clear river touched by mountain wind.
Even your parents can’t believe how much you’ve changed.

Sparrows in winter, if you’ve ever held one, all feathers
Burst out of your hand with a fiery glee.
You see them later in hedges. Teachers praise you,

But you can’t quite get back to the winter sparrow.
Your life is a dog. He’s been hungry for miles,
Doesn’t particularly like you, but gives up, and comes in.”
Robert Bly (“Resemblance Between Your Life and a Dog”)


I don't know about you, but my life has never gone according to plan. As the Twelve-Step folks say, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans!” We forget, or at least, I forget, that life has a life of its own. Life itself dictates what happens next. At times, it seems as though the old gods of Olympus are sitting up there on their thrones discussing what to do next. “Hey, let's see what she does with this! Let's interrupt this sweet sojourn with some hail and brimstone!” I'll bet you've heard them before.

When I was younger, I ranted and raved against the gods who messed-up my plans. I redoubled my efforts, forced things to go the way I wanted. You can imagine how well that went, right? We can't force life to go our way, but that doesn't stop us from trying. By middle-age, I was depressed. I was aging, losing what looks I ever had, didn't have a job that would support me and a two children, and left alone to figure it out. That certainly was not part of my plan! I wonder about you—has life had its way with you, too?

Nowadays, I mostly watch life with amusement and anticipation. There is great freedom in simply letting go of the immense responsibility of steering the stars in this galaxy. This is not giving up, it is simply allowing life to be as it is. This letting go has corrected my vision when looking backward at the numerous twists and turns, blind alleys and brick walls. It looks less like a screwed-up mess and more like a many-colored tapestry. Gaining the perspective of age, we understand that what looked like a disaster to us, was simply a problem, and in the great scheme of things, not a very big deal. Life has, in the words of the Buddha, 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows no matter where you live, or who you are.

We can look forward with quiet resolve to what comes next. Life will be what life will be. We can let the dog in when he shows up at the door, mangy and half-starved. We may never have seen him before, but we know he belongs to us.

In the Spirit,
Jane