Meet
the Challenge
“I
define connection as the energy that exists between people when they
feel seen, heard, and valued; when they give and receive without
judgment; and when they derive strength from relationship.”
Brene
Brown
Yesterday, during Prayers of the People, someone asked the congregation to pray that they
might survive the holidays with their family. That sentiment was
echoed by a number of “Yes, Lords.” Does it seem strange to you
that so many of us feel that way? We are especially vulnerable to the
barbs and prods of people who share our bloodline in ways both
mysterious and undeniable. We sometimes feel as though we're going
into battle and in need of a good sword and shield. The Biblical
instruction to “gird up your loins” comes to mind.
I was curious about that
phrase, so I looked it up, thinking it had to do with strapping on a
weapon of some sort. To my surprise, gird up your loins means to pull
your long tunic out in front of you so that the back is tight against
your buttocks, pass all the fabric between your legs front to back,
then pull it around both sides, and either tie it at the waist, or
tuck it securely into your belt. The purpose is/was to free your legs
for mobility—like running, either into battle, or away from it.
Gird your loins is a soft means of protecting your vulnerable parts.
You might even use the image of this girding process before you enter
into the family scene.
Some of us need a soft
layer of protection during the holidays. Strength comes from
remembering who we are, and being authentic, but with an open heart.
For me, this means suspending judgment to the very best of my
ability. When we are judging, even if we don't speak our minds, the
energy of it builds up inside us and creates internal pressure, usually in the form of anxiety. I
find myself silently speaking the mantra, “Let it go” a lot, along with a
nice deep exhale. It's not necessary, nor is it productive, to butt
horns at every affront.
In addition to this, try
to identify at least one person in the family that you can connect to
and feel safe with. Spend your time with them as much as possible.
Once your loins are girded, you are protected from the sticks and
stones of family assault. You have the mobility to walk away if you
choose. In the meantime, you can enjoy the energy of connection—of
being seen, heard and valued—by yourself first, and by your
identified safe person. It's even possible that when we don't go into
a family gathering braced for battle, there will be no battle.
Imagine that!
The holidays present us
with opportunities to practice spirituality. Personal spirituality.
How can I go into these intense gatherings and remain authentic and
at peace? Connection is the answer, and that requires an open heart.
Gird up your loins, friends. You are up to the challenge.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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