"At-one-ment"

Unconditional Love

“Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It's not 'I love you' for this or that reason, not 'I love you if you love me.' It's love for no reason, love without an object.”

Ram Dass

Carl Jung described the fully individuated person as one who is not striving for perfection nor engaged in a religious journey of becoming “good.” Individuation is a human/spiritual process of becoming fully oneself. Jung called it, “at-one-ment.” Individuation means integrating all that we know about ourselves, becoming intimately familiar with both our dark and light aspects, our quirks and strangeness, all our idiosyncrasies, and our strengths and weaknesses. It is an inner process that at every juncture requires interaction and interdependence with other human beings. In working through the stages of our personal evolution, we come to appreciate our basic humanity. Paradoxically, as we become more individuated, we see ourselves as less unique. In unfolding our individuality, we recognize our sameness with others. When that happens, we feel unconditional love—love not based on any criteria established by us, but simply love for its own sake.

Abraham Maslow called this the “self-actualized” person. One who has moved up the hierarchy of human needs and reached the fullness of person-hood. Such people are humble, not egotistical; they typically live simply, and are funny and self-effacing. They treat all persons the same. They value each person equally. Jimmy Carter comes to mind as I describe this. Now in his nineties, he exudes unconditional love for his fellow human beings.

Becoming capable of unconditional love is the journey that we, as a species, are now on. We will reach it together or we will not reach it at all—we will learn to live together in peace, or we will perish together. Whether we accept this or not—there is only one boat, and we are all on it. Rowing together will get us closer to our goal of being fully human than rowing against each other. A few weeks ago, we experienced the exact opposite of unconditional love in Charlottesville. In Texas this week, we got a peek at what it means to all row together. It was beautiful to behold.

                                                            In the Spirit,

                                                                 Jane