Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Village Mentality

Connections

I love the connections that make this big old world feel like a little village.”
Gina Bellman

As someone who spent ninety percent of her first two years in a hospital with asthma, I have to be conscientious about staying connected with other people. A psychiatrist friend, on hearing this small piece of my personal history, said, “But you don't have attachment disorder!” The jury is still out on that. What I have is the ability to spend long stretches of time alone without a lot of discomfort. I have to tend to my human connections in ways that other people do not, otherwise I become isolated.

As a child, I lived in a small town in North Carolina. There, people dropped by whenever they felt like it. It was not unusual to sit down to lunch or dinner with several people other than the immediate family at the table. I can hear my daddy saying, “Pull up a chair, son. Have some supper.” It was usually men who came—he sponsored many who were trying to give up drinking liquor and put their lives back together. I never had to think about tending to connections then—my daddy was a human magnet.

Nowadays, this sort of village mentality would be helpful. Maybe it still exists in small town America, but in cities, we make “plans.” We keep a careful calendar. We see folks only when it is “convenient.” I understand this—people are busy. But people have always been busy. It never before prevented them from reaching out to friends and family. It seems we've replaced the whole idea of face-to-face human contact with texting. It's rare to even spontaneously phone someone, since we might interrupt something they are doing that's more important. We seem to have forgotten how to be intimate with one another in spontaneous ways.

Barbara Bush advised; “Cherish your human connections—your relationships with friends and family.” I believe in our embrace of technology, we've become better friends with our phones than with most human beings. It may be more convenient but it does not feed the heart and soul. I hope today you'll do what Diana Ross recommended: “Reach out and touch somebody's hand; make this a better world if you can.”

                                                       In the Spirit,
                                                            Jane



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