Unclench
Your Fist
“Peace
appears as we unclench the fist of self.”
Tracy
Cochran (The Golden Ticket; Parabola, Summer, 2017, p. 36)
Recently, there have been
many talks and much research on the subject, even the science, of
happiness. Perhaps that's because so many people are wrestling with
unhappiness at the moment. Many things contribute to the dis-ease of
this time—our chaotic political climate, relentless cyber attacks,
epidemic addiction rates and deaths, the reincarnation of ancient
demons we thought we had bested, such as racism, sexism,
authoritarianism and inequality. And, of course, war—endless war.
There's no end to reasons to feel anxious and unhappy.
But what about happiness?
How is that achieved? I heard a TED talk over the weekend about
happiness in which Elizabeth Lesser suggested “if you want to have
a happy life, find what is unforgiven.” In other words, clear up
the resentments, the jealousies, the outright hatreds that you're
carrying around—even if they are justified. I'm not sure why we
humans hold onto things; perhaps, it is a hold-over from our tribal
past. Certainly, it is archetypal, and has been around forever—I
think of the Capulet and Montague families of Romeo and Juliet fame.
Or the long-standing feud between the American clans of Hatfield and
McCoy. Or, for that matter, the ever-lasting animus between Sunni and
Shiite Muslims today. Sometimes, no one really remembers the original
offense, but they keep hate alive anyway. It's tradition!
What all these battles
have in common the central theme of self—me, my, and mine. Not only
are we fixated on what we want and need, but we seem to believe that
having what we want and need means someone else has to sacrifice what
they want and need. Sometimes, the only solution to such resentment
is to simply let it go. Like a scene from an ancient battlefield, lay
down your weapons and walk away. Not so much for anyone else, but so
that your soul can clear out the rubble and rebuild.
An unclenched fist is
open to new possibilities. Even the possibility of peace.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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