Inner Voices

Knowing Without Knowing Why

“Despite all consequence, there is an inevitable honoring of what is true, and at this deep level of inner voice, it is not a summoning of will, but a following of true knowing.”

Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening, p. 217)

I sent a young girl a quilt last week. The young girl, Kaidance, is a cousin; the grand-daughter of my first cousin, Anne. I barely know her; met her only once at the hospice when my Aunt Elaine, was dying. The quilt was one given to me by my grandmother, Mama, in 1966, when I first married. It is a butterfly quilt, with each block having an appliqued butterfly, made of different fabrics; all tied together with lavender and white. Mama did very fine hand stitching, better than anything I have ever done.

But here's the story—beginning a couple of months ago, an inner voice said to me, “Give Kaidance a quilt.” I argued, as always; “I don't know Kaidance; how would I know what she even likes?” But the voice was persistent. Now, I do know Kaid plays banjo, and I know she likes horses, because Anne posts such information on Facebook. Otherwise, I know only that she's about ten or eleven years old. As the weeks went by, the voice inside my head became more insistent, but I knew it would take at least a year to make a quilt about banjos or horses. Finally, when I was storing my quilts for the summer in a closet downstairs, I noticed Mama's butterfly quilt among them. It practically jumped off the shelf with the instruction, “Send this quilt to Kaidance!” Later that day, when I was trying to take a nap, and the voice literally yelled, “Get up and send the quilt!” So I did!

Well, it turns out that lavender is Kaid's favorite color, her bedroom is painted lavender, the curtains are lavender, and she has a lavender plant on her windowsill. Mama would be her great-great-grandmother, who, of course, Kaid never knew. Call me a mystic, but I think it was Mama's voice urging me to send the quilt to her.

I am learning to listen to the inner voices, to pay attention to coincidence, and synchronicity. They seem to be happening more frequently in my life, and that is good. I need all the guidance I can get, and this deep level of “knowing without knowing why” is speaking truth. How about you? Are you paying attention?

                                                          In the Spirit,

                                                             Jane