Idol
Worship
“It does
seem to me that at least some of us have made an idol of exhaustion.
The only time we know we've done enough is when we are running on
empty and when the ones we love the most are the ones we see the
least.”
Barbara
Brown Taylor
My son and I looked at
one another across the breakfast table yesterday morning, and each
recognized exhaustion in the other. “We need to take a break,” I
said. “Yes,” he agreed. Our family always goes full throttle
until slamming into a wall. That wall is typically injury or illness.
It's a crazy way to live, when you think about it. But taking time to
rest is a problem when you're one of the millions of people who are
only paid when you are working.
It's even more of a
problem for people who feel like a “slacker” when they aren't
working—who truly believe that they are indispensable to whatever
work they do. Truth is, no one is indispensable. But that's the fear,
isn't it? That others will recognize that we are truly
non-essential—that someone else can adequately fill our shoes. So
we toil away and feel exhaustion settle into our bones like an
familiar roommate.
I sat down for an hour
last night while waiting for a guest to arrive for dinner. It felt
very strange to sit alone in my living room. I found myself making a
mental list of all the things I want to do. Things that I never have
time to do, because I'm always working, or because I am simply too
tired to do one more thing. It was a long list. Idleness is not my
strong-suit. “Doing” is my idol. I can't even sit for an hour
without making a to-do-list.
I wonder about you. Are
you better at simply “being” than I am. Do you know how to take
regular breaks, to rest between activities. Can you allow yourself to
be “idle and blessed” as Mary Oliver suggests. I hope so.
Exhaustion is a hollow god.
In the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment