Refining
Gold
“Truly,
it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in
sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”
Meister
Eckhart
Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., in
her 1993 book, Fire in the Soul, tells about having surgery to
remove a lump from her breast. Between the time the lump was removed
and when the results came back, she went through a series of “what
if” question, as any of us would. What if it's cancer; what if I
have to go through chemotherapy; what if I die? All of us have faced
these moments, or are surrounded by loved ones who have. It seems
human nature to imagine the worst case scenario first. Her lump
turned out to be benign, thankfully, but it led her to reevaluate her
life and her basic beliefs. That is undoubtedly what Meister Eckhart
meant when he said that we are closest to the light when we are in
darkness.
Borysenko, who is a
Medical Scientist, and a pioneer in the Body/Mind movement, suggests
that we consider some other “what if” questions that might lead
to more hopefulness and optimism. Here are a few: “What if you
were a fragment of a larger consciousness?” What if we are one
piece of the One Great Soul—unique and yet the same as all the
other pieces. “What if One Mind knows itself through its
creation?” The same life force flows through all of creation,
whether a seed that grows into a mighty tree, or an egg and sperm
that grow into a human being. What is the possibility that Divine
Mind knows, and experiences, and reveals itself through us, and
through the wider world. “What if the purpose of my existence is
to become truly loving, and through that love find my way back to the
divine source?” We feel most loving when we are aware of the
life force in us and in all things, when we are connected to one
another and to the natural world.
“What if we find our
freedom through struggling against darkness?” What if
uncovering the inequities in the world and wrestling with them is the
way we light a candle in the darkness. Did a dark night of the soul
motivate Rosa Parks to refuse to give up her seat on that Montgomery
bus? “What if you were immortal?” What if this existence
is only one avenue your soul chose to walk down? What if your soul
knew in advance what the adventure would be, and chose it anyway?
“What if the things that seem unfair turn out to make sense?”
Would the circumstances of our lives make absolute sense if we were
observing them from a distance, or if someone else were experiencing
them?
“What if you have
all the help you need to find your way back to the Light?” Some
of us choose, in a given lifetime, not to find our way back. The
danger here is being so identified with our darkness that the light
becomes invisible to us. We stay in the dark because it feels
familiar, and not because there is no way out.
“What if pain is
also an act of service?” Most 12-Step Programs will tell you
that the best counselor for someone who is trying to kick an
addiction is someone who has actually done it themselves. The pain of
rehabilitation and recovery is one way to burnish our gold. Living
through the pain of any loss, whether through death, divorce, disease
or trauma is sometimes like sandpaper on wood. It reveals the grain
and the flaws so that they can be incorporated and refined into a
whole finished piece.
There are many “what
if” questions we can ask ourselves, and when we do, we will know
far more about the darkness, and far more about the light.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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