Quiet Talk
“We have two ears and
one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”
Susan Cain (Quiet: The
Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)
In America, we live in an
extroverted world. If you doubt that, just go into a restaurant in
any U.S. city. Folks may start out in quiet conversation, but as the
restaurant fills, they get louder and louder so that their own
precious words can be heard above the hub-bub. By the end of the
evening, the volume is quite literally deafening. For extroverts,
this is hardly noticeable; for introverts, it is painful.
This difference is not
because extroverts are loud-mouths, and introverts are socially
awkward, as it is that one thinks out loud, and the other thinks
internally. One does more listening than talking, and one does more
talking than listening. A true test of introversion vs. extroversion
is the great American cocktail party. An extrovert is in his element,
often called, “the life of the party.” And, in the words of Criss
Jami, (Killosophy) “Telling an introvert to go to a party is like
telling a saint to go to Hell.” Introverts are not masters of small
talk--and they don't want to be.
But, here's the thing—we
need both types in this world. There is power in being able to stand
out in a crowd, being able create ideas with words and actions, and
being able to present those ideas articulately. There is also value
in being thoughtful and deliberative, being able to think things
though and weigh all the options before diving into action.
Extroverts talk their ideas into being, discover what they think
while they're talking, and introverts think their ideas into being,
and then present them. Extroverts work best in teams where ideas can
be tossed around and expanded by the group. Introverts work best
alone or in concert with one or two others. They express themselves
better in writing than in speaking.
Whichever type you are,
know that your gifts are valuable. One is not superior to the other.
Being the best you, bringing what you have to offer to the world in a
manner that is authentically yourself, is what truly matters.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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