Wednesday, November 25, 2015

It's almost Turkey day!

Thanksgiving Eve

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
G. K. Chesterton

It's Thanksgiving eve here in America. Most of us will be involved in preparations for food, feasting and family. For some of us, this will be a day of excitement and anticipation. For others, dread and anxiety. Holidays are always a mixed bag.

We hope and pray that our giving-of-thanks will be justified; that the gathering and the meal will go smoothly, that Uncle Bob will not drink too much, and Aunt Sue will not talk too much, and the kids will not fight. We are hugely disappointed when the things we hope for do not happen, and we come away from this holiday, which is supposed to be about gratitude, with anything but a grateful heart.

We can change that. We can go into it with realistic expectations. We know some things will go well, and some things will go badly, because that is life. We know that Uncle Bob will drink too much and Aunt Sue will not shut her mouth, and the kids will fight, so why not just let it be what it is. Then, when things go better than expected, we can feel incredible relief and thankfulness.

Consider instead the great tales to be gathered! Crazy relatives are the marrow-bone of stories. Think of this holiday as an opportunity to conduct “field research.” Ask Aunt Sue, who's going to gab anyway, to tell you about your mother, or your grandmother, or about you when you were little. Get Uncle Bob, in his cups, to tell his war stories, or tales of his four ex-wives (maybe those are the same). Take notes, or better still, clandestinely hit the tape recorder app on your smart phone. Don't worry about the food; people will be so engrossed in the stories, they won't notice that the turkey is burned, and the green beans are dried out. Serve lots of cranberry sauce to sweeten things up.

We can even do a literary comparison—is my deeply Southern family a Faulknerian novel, a Conroy novel, or perhaps a Eudora Welty? Is your family more like The Great Gatsby, or The Hunger Games? What about a good tragedy; maybe a Hemingway? Change your own perception from a concrete notion of how things “should be,” to the fluidity of how things actually are, and just let them be. It is our dashed expectations that cause us pain, and not the behavior of others. Make something you love to eat, and enjoy yourself. Let the chips fall where they fall, and give thanks that you are here on this blue planet, you can gather your crazies around you, and you have food on your table. Such blessing is enough.

                                            In the Spirit,

                                                Jane

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