Real
Family
“I'll
never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family together,
all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking
at the past but only to the future.”
LaToya
Jackson
So,
this is launch week—we are well and truly into the holiday season,
which means that we are either eagerly planning and excited, or we
are praying for New Year's to magically be here today. So many of us
long for that sweet family gathering that LaToya Jackson cites above,
when actually, there has never been anything of the sort. Somehow,
it's a Hollywood ideal that never quite got traction in our
fractious families. Truth is, all families have fissures and
sometimes outright fractures. There will always be relatives who rub
us the wrong way, some who embarrass us and some who simply offend
us, because families are a cross-section of real life.
I
attended a wake yesterday. The “dearly departed's” deceased
wife's family stood in one room, and his brother's family in an
adjoining room with hardly a word spoken between them. Even the death
of a common loved one could not bring union. I felt like I was at a
gathering of the Montagues and the Capulets, only without the lovely
costumes.
This
is not an indictment of families. We all have one, we are all
products of the same joining. But it is a plea for realism. Families
are simply people who issued from a common source. Each of them came
here with a personality, an ego, and a burning desire to stand out in
a sea of similarity. We are to be forgiven for not being who we
“should” be in some Hallmark world.
Most
of us are bonded to one another in spite of our differences, but when
we come together, we remember of all the slights and hateful words
that our common history holds. Those aren't going away. They must be
overcome through mercy and recognition of our own role in the
conflict. They must be quietly laid to rest along with childish
animosity.
As
we head into the holidays, let us lay aside our negative judgments,
and irritated nervous systems, and just eat some turkey, and maybe a
little crow, too. I've heard it's good with cranberry sauce. Let us
be at peace.
Affirmation:
“Today I will bring peace to all I say and do.”
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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