Monday, November 23, 2015

Holiday Launch

Real Family

I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future.”
LaToya Jackson

So, this is launch week—we are well and truly into the holiday season, which means that we are either eagerly planning and excited, or we are praying for New Year's to magically be here today. So many of us long for that sweet family gathering that LaToya Jackson cites above, when actually, there has never been anything of the sort. Somehow, it's a Hollywood ideal that never quite got traction in our fractious families. Truth is, all families have fissures and sometimes outright fractures. There will always be relatives who rub us the wrong way, some who embarrass us and some who simply offend us, because families are a cross-section of real life.

I attended a wake yesterday. The “dearly departed's” deceased wife's family stood in one room, and his brother's family in an adjoining room with hardly a word spoken between them. Even the death of a common loved one could not bring union. I felt like I was at a gathering of the Montagues and the Capulets, only without the lovely costumes.

This is not an indictment of families. We all have one, we are all products of the same joining. But it is a plea for realism. Families are simply people who issued from a common source. Each of them came here with a personality, an ego, and a burning desire to stand out in a sea of similarity. We are to be forgiven for not being who we “should” be in some Hallmark world.

Most of us are bonded to one another in spite of our differences, but when we come together, we remember of all the slights and hateful words that our common history holds. Those aren't going away. They must be overcome through mercy and recognition of our own role in the conflict. They must be quietly laid to rest along with childish animosity.

As we head into the holidays, let us lay aside our negative judgments, and irritated nervous systems, and just eat some turkey, and maybe a little crow, too. I've heard it's good with cranberry sauce. Let us be at peace.

Affirmation: “Today I will bring peace to all I say and do.”

                                      In the Spirit,

                                          Jane

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