Staying in the Center Lane

Balancing Act

“All the great teachings reveal the way of the center, the way of balance. Constantly look to see if that is where you're living or if you are lost in the extremes. The extremes create their opposites; the wise avoid them. Find the balance in the center and you will live in harmony.”

Michael A. Singer (The Untethered Soul)

We live in a world where extremes prevail. We are reactive to extreme messages on both the right and the left. Here in America, the land of the free, we have people shooting up movie theaters and schools, military recruiting centers and college campuses. Our response to it is first, to set up walls of flowers, candles, photographs and teddy bears at the site, and then to turn, and advocate for more guns. The sight of vigilantes with automatic weapons outside recruitment centers this week was a case in point—not police, not military, but private citizens took it upon themselves to guard those centers. I understand their commitment to our service men and women, but it seems to me a drastic and provocative response.

I experience the difficulty of balance and harmony almost every day of my life. Recently, someone brought up several issues they had about a project that has been in the works for over a year. I'm on the planning committee for that project, and we've had many meetings with everyone who has a stake in the outcome. We've gone to great pains to incorporate everyone's ideas and wishes, but the person who expressed concerns has not attended any of those meetings. When the email came with a list of objections, I took it personally—the first mistake. I felt defensive and angry—the second mistake. I made assumptions about the reasons for this person's concerns—the third mistake. And I made a phone call to another member of the committee to air my negative reaction—mistake number four. Instead of staying in the center, I jumped straight to the extremes.

Now and then, I have to remind myself that I am a mammal; a homo sapien. The fact that I stand upright, and wear clothes and lipstick does not change that. By our very nature, we human animals are territorial and protective of our tribe. Our initial reaction to a perceived threat is a defensive one. Learning to live in the center, in harmony, and not at the extremes, requires we learn a whole new set of responses that override our nature. It's work. It doesn't come easily. But living in the center, and not at the extremes, is the way to a more peaceful world, within and without.

                                                               In the Spirit,

                                                                     Jane