Manners
“I
have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with
people you don't agree with or like.”
Margaret
Mead
The
trip home from Costa Rica took twenty-one mind numbing hours. The
most gut-wrenching stretch was spent navigating rush hour traffic in
San Jose. We Americans are accustomed to lanes in roads meaning
something specific, and the rules of the road can actually be found
in a driver's manual. Not so for most of the world. In Costa Rica,
it's every man, woman and motorcycle for him/herself. Passing on
double lines is encouraged; cramming into exit ramps with no
semblance of decorum is normal, and speed limits are arbitrary,
especially for those on two wheels. By the end of the five hour
stretch, we women had abandoned all our mothers' niceties regarding
the proper conduct of a Southern woman. I was twice told, “You need
to learn some manners!” I was not rude to the local people, all of
whom were gracious and delightful, but I grew progressively
intolerant of my traveling companions. Perhaps you have had this
experience, too.
Truth
is we were an odd assortment, thrown together for eleven days in
close quarters. We didn't know the language of the local population,
and they did not know ours—though they were much better than we at
deciphering meaning from our melange of words. Moreover, the stress
of differences in temperament and personality type added to the level
of anxiety in the household, and made us snappy and irritable. Each
of us had our own idea of what constituted “a vacation,” and
those notions were often in conflict. What became sadly clearer over
the two weeks was that we Americans have not outgrown our imperial
attitudes—we expect others to adapt to us even when we're in their
homeland. I feel quite sad about that.
All
in all, I loved the country, its people, its wildlife, and its food.
But, alas, I am not destined in this lifetime to be a world traveler.
It will never be a relaxed endeavor for me, one of excitement and
curiosity. I do not have an adventuring spirit, and I am simply not
fun to travel with for those who want to party and have a good time,
see the sights and kick up their heels. Throw a devout introvert into
a gathering of aggressive extroverts and trouble will follow. Good
manners go only so far before the claws come out and things get
really ugly. It's good to know yourself, and it took this beautiful
place and these gentle, laid-back people to give me a better
perspective on just who I am.
In the
Spirit,
Jane
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