Thursday, June 4, 2015

Seeing by Moonlight

Time Traveling

I now resolved to go to bed early, with a firm purpose of also rising early the next day to revisit this charming walk; for I thought to myself, I have now seen this temple of the modern world imperfectly; I have now seen it only by moonlight.”
Karl Philipp Moritz

My girl cousin, Sandy, and I will travel up to Chattanooga today to revisit our childhood neighborhood, and remember our time there in the 1950's. This trip is rather like when old soldiers return to the battlefield decades later to make peace with their memories. Memories are so imperfect—like seeing a place and a time by moonlight. Details are not sharp, we remember mostly impressions and feelings. Especially if we were young children at the time, our memories are like old photographs of half-recognized people.

I tell myself that Sandy's memory of things is clearer than mine—that she's by nature a detail person, having been an engineer, and as such, will have sharper images. I was a diffuse child, preferring to walk in half-light even in the middle of the day, so as not to see too clearly what was going on around me. Perhaps you were that way too. Revisiting the past can help with many things: clearing up misconceptions, reorienting ourselves to place and time, stirring up memories that have been carefully stored away. It's that last one that causes me some anxiety. It is not unlike going into the “cold case” records room in a police station, and finding a box with your name on it.

I want to write about the time in my life when I lived in Chattanooga as part of remembering the stories, both the good ones and the bad. I wonder whether you have stirred your particular pot in such a way, and remembered what you had long forgotten. It's like replacing missing bricks in a wall; it makes the wall sturdier and more likely to stand the stresses of time. Wish me luck, as I wish for you on this beautiful day in early June.

                                                           In the Spirit,

                                                                  Jane

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