Monday, June 8, 2015

Finding Solace

Healing Scars

The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.”
Carl Jung

My cousin and I agree—we don't need to revisit the old stomping grounds again. We have reamed every ounce of memory and meaning from them, and come to a place of acceptance regarding the difficulties of being born into families with challenges. It's always fascinating to me to see how differently each of us handles the circumstances of our up-bringing, and the ramifications of that difficult childhood. As Sandy says, “We all have scars.” True enough—and some of our scars have even healed.

I wear other folks out by minutely analyzing the people, the time, the circumstances, the motives, the place, and on and on, ad nauseam. It's exhausting for everyone but me. I don't do this so that I can bleed over it, or pass judgment on others. It's simply interesting to me; it's how my mind works. Sandy focuses on the positive, and is content to say, that was then, this is now, and the two are unrelated. That's how her mind works. I am William Faulkner to her Norman Vincent Peale. I'm sure she is going home today weary to the bone with my intensity, and I may never shop again—but we love each other, and want only for the best for one another.

Everyone has their own way of negotiating conflicts, within and without. There is no right or wrong way. Some of us “give it to the Lord,” some of us gnaw it like a meaty bone, and some of us jam in so much activity we can't get anywhere near the battlefield. Sooner or later, however, we all have to face the fire and deal with our demons or they will control us. Then, we begin to pick through the rubble, and in doing so, we realize there was good as well as bad. There was plenty amidst the poverty. There was love in addition to neglect. When one has come to terms with the realities of life, however they choose to come to those terms, a sense of calm prevails. We hammer our internal swords into plowshares. We don't have to fight the past any more, and we don't have to keep it at bay. We can simply rest and let it be what it is. For all this, I thank my cousin, Sandy, who is my teacher and my friend. Who helps you heal the wounds?

                                                                    In the Spirit,

                                                                        Jane

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