Healing
Scars
“The
most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security
and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense
conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce
valuable and lasting results.”
Carl
Jung
My
cousin and I agree—we don't need to revisit the old stomping
grounds again. We have reamed every ounce of memory and meaning from
them, and come to a place of acceptance regarding the difficulties of
being born into families with challenges. It's always fascinating to
me to see how differently each of us handles the circumstances of our
up-bringing, and the ramifications of that difficult childhood. As
Sandy says, “We all have scars.” True enough—and some of our
scars have even healed.
I
wear other folks out by minutely analyzing the people, the time, the
circumstances, the motives, the place, and on and on, ad nauseam.
It's exhausting for everyone but me. I don't do this so that I can
bleed over it, or pass judgment on others. It's simply interesting to
me; it's how my mind works. Sandy focuses on the positive, and is
content to say, that was then, this is now, and the two are
unrelated. That's how her mind works. I am William Faulkner to her
Norman Vincent Peale. I'm sure she is going home today weary to the
bone with my intensity, and I may never shop again—but we love each
other, and want only for the best for one another.
Everyone
has their own way of negotiating conflicts, within and without. There
is no right or wrong way. Some of us “give it to the Lord,” some
of us gnaw it like a meaty bone, and some of us jam in so much
activity we can't get anywhere near the battlefield. Sooner or later,
however, we all have to face the fire and deal with our demons or
they will control us. Then, we begin to pick through the rubble, and
in doing so, we realize there was good as well as bad. There was
plenty amidst the poverty. There was love in addition to neglect.
When one has come to terms with the realities of life, however they
choose to come to those terms, a sense of calm prevails. We hammer
our internal swords into plowshares. We don't have to fight the past
any more, and we don't have to keep it at bay. We can simply rest and
let it be what it is. For all this, I thank my cousin, Sandy, who is
my teacher and my friend. Who helps you heal the wounds?
In
the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment