Thursday, May 21, 2015

Friends with Benefits

True Friends

As you learn who you are, you can better surround yourself with friends who make you a better person, and that sometimes only happens when you disassemble old relationships.”
Maggie Stiefvater

Friendship is a mixed bag, isn't it? We all have friends who lift us up, and some who bring us down. I want to say here: I don't think friendship should always be about positive mood, or that we should only be around people who are joyful, who make us laugh, and approve of everything we do just because we're great. Sometimes our best friends are the ones who call us out when we're wrong, or who tell us when we're not being fair. Real relationships have ups and downs, but most of all, they're honest.

I do think it's a mistake to be with someone who consistently makes us sad. Sometimes we retain friendships simply because we've known the person for a long time. We tell ourselves, “Oh, he's my best friend. We go all the way back to elementary school.” Having a shared history is important, but it's not everything. In my world view, a far more important factor is shared interest, and that includes genuine interest in one another. When you're with this person, do you want to know more and more about them? Do they ask questions that encourage you to reveal yourself? Do you have common passions you want to pursue together? A paradoxical side to authentic relationship is that true friends take you out of yourself, and more deeply into yourself, at the same time, and you aren't afraid to speak straight from your heart. Sometimes that happens instantly with a new acquaintance, and sometimes it never exists with someone you've known all your life.

True friendship is like a little jewel you hold in the palm of your hand—it has many facets, and each time you roll it, you see a different side. That kind of friend makes you a better person because he/she makes you think and feel differently, and therefore helps you to grow.

                                                           In the Spirit,

                                                                Jane

No comments: