True
Friends
“As
you learn who you are, you can better surround yourself with friends
who make you a better person, and that sometimes only happens when
you disassemble old relationships.”
Maggie
Stiefvater
Friendship
is a mixed bag, isn't it? We all have friends who lift us up, and
some who bring us down. I want to say here: I don't think
friendship should always be about positive mood, or that we should
only be around people who are joyful, who make us laugh, and approve
of everything we do just because we're great. Sometimes our best
friends are the ones who call us out when we're wrong, or who tell us
when we're not being fair. Real relationships have ups and downs, but
most of all, they're honest.
I
do think it's a mistake to be with someone who consistently makes us
sad. Sometimes we retain friendships simply because we've known the
person for a long time. We tell ourselves, “Oh, he's my best
friend. We go all the way back to elementary school.” Having a
shared history is important, but it's not everything. In my world
view, a far more important factor is shared interest, and that
includes genuine interest in one another. When you're with this
person, do you want to know more and more about them? Do they ask
questions that encourage you to reveal yourself? Do you have common
passions you want to pursue together? A paradoxical side to
authentic relationship is that true friends take you out of
yourself, and more deeply into yourself, at the same time, and you
aren't afraid to speak straight from your heart. Sometimes that
happens instantly with a new acquaintance, and sometimes it never
exists with someone you've known all your life.
True
friendship is like a little jewel you hold in the palm of your
hand—it has many facets, and each time you roll it, you see a
different side. That kind of friend makes you a better person because
he/she makes you think and feel differently, and therefore helps you
to grow.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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