Asking for Help

Sign of Strength

“We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone is a choice to grow weak.”

Lori Deschene (Tiny Wisdom: On Asking for Help; Tiny Buddha website)

You may (or may not) remember the black-and-white cat that's taken up residence on my front porch. Her owner died and the daughters sold her house and left the cat to fend for herself. That was several years ago. I can not bear to see the cat hungry and not feed her, but the financial cost of caring for an extra pet is beyond what I can do. So, when she turned up on Saturday with a wound on her ear, I panicked. Veterinary treatment for a feral cat is simply not in my cards. So yesterday—Easter Sunday—I put out four emails to people in the neighborhood who are involved with animal rescue. Within an hour, a woman arrived with antibiotics and enough food to feed the cat for at least a year! It was an important lesson for me about asking and receiving.

I grew up in a family who truly believed that asking for help was shameful. It's not part of my DNA to even think, “I need help.” But I am beginning to understand that recognizing when I need help, and asking for it, are necessary for spiritual growth. I suspect that's true not just for me, but for many of us in the “family of man.” For thousands of years, we lived in cooperative communities, in communal arrangements, where everybody helped do whatever needed to be done. Nowadays, we lead such isolated lives that it may not be obvious when we need help—we have to ask.

Today, if there is something you are struggling with, ask for help. It may surprise you how quickly it comes. There is no need to struggle alone. In the words of Lena Horne, “It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.”

                                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                                        Jane