Sunday, March 15, 2015

Becoming the Dowager

Passages

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”
Maggie Smith

Maggie Smith plays roles that every older woman wants to imitate. Whether she's the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey, or Muriel Donnelly in Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, she speaks her mind without hesitation. As a woman, a miraculous thing happens when you cross the threshold of fifty: you lose your fear of authority figures. In fact, there are no authority figures. It's quite freeing.

Which is not to say that rudeness is acceptable. It is not, or at least, should not be. I think the sense of freedom comes from no longer needing to please everyone around you. As an “elder,” one is not expected to be the smartest, or the most beautiful, or most talented person in the room. Someone else can step into the spotlight and wear that weighty tiara, while you sigh with relief. What an elder does bring is a lifetime of experience, and hopefully, a good dose of humor and common sense.

Developmentally, the life stage requires slowing down outer activity so that one can go inside for reflection. If one has led a life they feel good about, and proud of, then contentment is predominant. Wisdom, I think, comes out of that contentment. We feel, “It's okay to be me.” It's critically important to live our life, not just observe it, so that when we arrive at this stage, as Maggie Smith has, we can say with certainty, “This life of mine has mattered, and it's been a heck of a ride.”

                                                                   In the Spirit,

                                                                        Jane 

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