Change
the Yardstick
“So
much of our lives takes place in our heads—in memory or
imagination, in speculation or interpretation—that sometimes I feel
that I can best change my life by changing the way I look at it.”
Pico
Iyer (The Art of Stillness)
In
Hamlet, Shakespeare wrote, “There is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so.” Whether we are introverted or
extroverted, sociable or non, our life, and thus our emotions, take
place inside our heads. Our senses can play tricks on us. We may
think we see something and in an instant our entire body responds to
that perception. As we get closer, or shine a light, we see something
entirely different, but in the space between the two, our perception
determined our reality.
Our
human relationships operate in much the same way. We have a
particular life experience and point of view, and that is our
reality—it is the yardstick by which we measure all else. When
someone does or says something, we get out our yardstick and go to
work; does that fit our perception of how things ought to be, or is
it different. Did she mean that, or this; was he being sarcastic, or
sincere. These thoughts cause us much aggravation. Our interpretation
has more to do with our own worldview than it has to do with the
other person. Sometimes we don't even know the other person, or what
may or may not have occurred in their lives to bring them to this
moment, or this behavior, so our assumption becomes the only valid
one to us.
Most
of us find it painful to look deeply into our own perceptions, how
they formed, how they color our view of other people and the world.
So we don't. We stick to our guns, stay with what's safe and
predictable, fold our yardstick and keep it handy. Now, more
than ever, we need to challenge our worldview—on race, on equality,
on gender, on religion, on ethical behavior, and a multitude of other
human concerns. If we can bring ourselves to change our own
yardstick, to withdraw our projections, we just might find ourselves
feeling happy a lot more of the time.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment