Sunday, December 21, 2014

Gaining Understanding

Moving Toward Compassion

Let's use our stories to encourage listening to one another and to hear not just the good news, but also the pain that lies at the back of a lot of people's stories and histories.”
Karen Armstrong

Karen Armstrong is a British scholar of comparative religion, who has written more than 20 books about her subject. In this quote, she refers to the perceived differences among the major religions, when at the core, they are quite similar. The centerpiece of each is compassion. She implores people to pursue, not a rigid set of beliefs and doctrines, but a compassionate life, for it is in compassion that religion truly comes alive.

I want to carry this into the arena of the personal, and suggest that listening to one another deeply and attentively, would help us individually to grow more compassionate. Understanding someone's back-story is critical to comprehending why they behave the way they do, why they say the things they say, why they deploy the filters, disguises and defenses they use to deflect, distract and compartmentalize. Human beings are endlessly fascinating and creative in these areas; the only animals who can say one thing, mean another and behave convincingly. We might begin with ourselves—really listen to what we say, how we feel when we're saying it, and whether our thoughts and our words are in harmony.

We're heading into the holidays when lots of families will gather and commingle. It's an opportunity to practice listening with interest and to ask questions that get at the back story. If we can set aside our perceptions and expectations, and simply ask and listen we may uncover a treasure trove of understanding. And, it is understanding that leads to compassion.

                                                                        In the Spirit,

                                                                             Jane

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