Discernment
One
of the first things we learn from our teachers is discernment: the
ability to tell truth from fiction, to know when we have lost our
center and how to find it again. Discernment is also one of the last
things we learn, when we feel our paths diverge and we must separate
from our mentors in order to stay true to ourselves.
Anne
Hill (The Baby and the Bathwater)
Separating
from a beloved mentor is one of the most difficult passages in human
life. We may know in our heart of hearts that we need to go our
separate way, but we are torn by loyalty and guilt toward someone who
has shown us the way through dark times and light, who has taught us
how to navigate treacherous waters and gentle streams. Discernment of
when the time is right, and courage to do the deed are hard to come
by. This is true for all deep and soul-bound relationships.
Sometimes, we need not so much to rend the connection, as to redefine
it.
Truth
is, if we have well and truly done our work, we sometimes reach a
plateau at which we need a different kind of teacher to take us to
the next level. Or, it may be that we need to get out and test our
own wings for a while and see where they take us. A wise mentor will
discern this, too, and will say, “I think you're ready to fly on
your own for now.” Part of being an adult is making this difficult
decision.
I
think we all need teachers, and for every life transition, there is
someone who steps up as guide. If you ask, you will find them. There
is a Buddhist proverb that states, “When the student is ready, the
teacher will appear.” I've found this to be true, though I've
sometimes been surprised by who the “teacher” turned out to be.
Is
it time to chart your own course? Have you asked for guidance? Trust
in your own process of discernment and be spiritually prepared to
take the helm. The ride can be rough, but exhilarating.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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