Measuring Up

Self-Consciousness

“Self-consciousness kills communication.”

Rick Steves

We humans are the only self-conscious animals on the planet—at least, we think so. It is both a blessing and a curse. It has allowed us to compete, excel, orate, strive and engage in a whole host of behaviors to set ourselves apart from the rest of the pack. It has also provided the yardstick by which we assess our relative value, to decide whether we come up short or exceed expectations. To the extent that we do “measure up” our confidence either swells or deflates. We feel triumphant or pathetic.

Self-consciousness is either an enabler, or a buzz kill, depending on where we perceive ourselves to stand in the great scheme of things. When we grow up feeling as though we don't possess much in the way of excellence, we are self-conscious in a negative way for as long as it takes to overcome that early perception. Some of us deal with it by fading into the woodwork and never coming out. Some of us surround ourselves with props that give the appearance of accomplishment and superiority, but our inner landscape never quite buys into it. Every time we confront a situation, or person, who tweaks our feelings of inferiority, usually unintentionally, we experience that unpleasant sensation as strongly as ever.

There are several solutions to negative self-consciousness. One is self-development—overcoming obstacles, especially internalized obstacles, that prevent us from achieving whatever we want to achieve. Another is to get out of ourselves entirely. Getting into life, and engaged with living everyday in a way that is not self-centered provides freedom from self-consciousness. And another way, the way that is hardest and works best, is to do the inner work necessary to build a solid infrastructure for confidence. Working to realize that we are all more alike than different; that all of us, including oneself, have much to offer the world, and that we are all an amalgam of good and bad, dark and light, brings balance.

It's hard to communicate clearly when one part of the mind is assessing how we measure up. It makes us twitchy and distracted. Today, let's throw away the yardstick and just live.

                                                           In the Spirit,

                                                                  Jane