Small
Change
“Small
change, small wonders—these are the currency of my endurance and
ultimately of my life.” Barbara Kingsolver
It's
easy to believe that nothing miraculous ever happens—but it does,
just not very fast or flashy. I had a conversation with my friend,
Ellen, yesterday about how long it takes to grow up. Not twenty-one
years, as some would have us think. Truly, it takes a lifetime.
This life we live is one of trial and error, and trial and success,
and trial and error. Typically, if we do our inner work, if we rise
above our narcissistic tendency to think everything is about us, we do
grow up—but slowly, oh, so slowly.
When
we are young--at least, when I was young--I wanted everything to be
exactly as I wanted it to be. I thought if I did the right things, my
world would turn on its axis in a predictable way. I was sure that
making smart decisions would lead to a successful life, a happy life,
and that those two were the same. What I didn't expect for one minute
was that fate would play a role; that my genetics would manifest
themselves, that karmic consequences applied to me. Somehow, when
we're young, we think we're exempt from such nonsense. Or at least, I
did.
But, when I look back, I see that change did happen—good change.
Change that allowed me to survive the downturns, to climb out of the
deep valleys, and to arrive now at a rich and peaceful place. After a
lifetime of bumps in the road, of paying off karmic debt, of
accepting that fate and genetics will have their say, I think
I may have grown up. But slowly, oh, so slowly. So don't give up.
Small change—small wonders—thanks be to God.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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