Cat
Crazy
“The
cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still
manages to find a living in the city.” Carl van Vechten
The
black cat is back. On my front porch. It's a long story. You see,
this particular cat belonged to the woman next door, who had the
audacity to die. The daughters of the woman sold the house and left
the cat, so she moved onto my porch. I am not a cat person—I don't
even like cats, but this cat could care less about that. It has
nothing to do with me, you see. She just wants food and she
doesn't think it her responsibility to chase down her entree.
Everyday,
when I try to exit my door, she blocks it. I literally can't open the
front door without scraping her aside. She kneads my legs and trips
me up. If I push her aside, she swipes at me with her claws. Such
gall! I usually duck back inside, even if I'm late for an appointment,
and fetch her some food. Some days she has to eat Liza's food because I've thrown away the cat food. You
see, she'll go away for days, weeks, and just when I'm feeling
comfortable that she's found someone who treats her the way she
desires, bang! There she is again on my doorstep, ready to terrorize
me.
Whoever
said, “Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.” knew of what they
spoke. The folks across the street have a house full of cats that they
cook for—Teriyaki Chicken is their favorite dish. And, there is the
crazy “cat lady” up the street (isn't there one in every
neighborhood?), who feeds strays from large metal containers on her
car port. Like a werewolf, she only comes out at night, this
neighbor, but there is always a big spread of cat food, and cats
fighting over it, in her yard. This is the same neighbor who received
a visit from the health department about feeding pigeons on the
ground in her back yard. Rats were congregating there and ranging far
and wide into other people's homes. Very, very strange.
I
know all neighborhoods have their oddities, but this one seems
unnaturally blessed with weirdos—and marauding cats. If you know
a crazy cat person who takes all comers, send her my way. I will
gladly hand over the black cat, and even throw in a bag of cat food.
And, best of all, God will bless you for it.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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