Moving beyond the trial.

Final Thoughts

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

Anne Frank

All day yesterday I felt exhausted from the emotional impact of the trial. My thoughts kept going back to the children involved, one boy only eight years old, and both of whom were called to the stand to testify. The older boy, sixteen now, raced through his testimony as though it had been memorized and rehearsed. The younger one simply cried, terrified of the whole scene, and so afraid of saying the wrong thing and hurting one or both of his parents. He never should have been put in such an untenable position. It was an exercise of unconsciousness in its cruelest form—children caught in the crossfire between self-centered adults.

I thought, too, about how our verdict will play out in the lives of those children. In the best of all worlds, it would stand as a life lesson in what not to do when you're angry; in understanding that what you say and do matters, and can come back to haunt you. Probably, though, since this is not the best of all worlds, our verdict only increased their resentment and anger—their parents are going to pay the price for our decision, therefore it is our fault that they suffer. It's just too hard to see a beloved parent as the cause of pain until much, much later in life.

The bottom line is, I hurt for children everywhere. The photos of children in Syria, in refugee camps, in war zones, in places where there is no clean water, not enough food, harsh living conditions, and constant danger are heart breaking. Where are our priorities? Why do the adults in their lives not see that their constant battle for power, whether it is in the courtroom, or on the battlefield, is a terrible evil? As a world, we must open our eyes and look at what we are doing to children on both ends of the spectrum—both by giving too much, as is often the case in this country, and by caring too little.

I don't regret having been on that jury, because it has made me more conscious of the many ways that adult behavior impacts children. I only regret that I cannot reach out to those two young sons to offer something more than the comfort of my prayers. I hope you will add your prayers to mine that we might create a better world for children everywhere. 

                                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                                        Jane