Sunday, January 19, 2014

Confessions of a...

Box Lover

The history of the living world can be summarized as the elaboration of ever more perfect eyes with a cosmos in which there is always something more to be seen.”
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I confess to loving boxes. I like to get my hands on a perfect box and fill it with something special. In my sewing room, all the fabrics are sorted by their predominant color and stored in plastic, see-through boxes, so at a glance, I can locate a fabric I need. I also like pretty boxes, even if I don't know what I'll put into them. I collect them just because they're pretty. They can be advertisements; I have a round one on top of my kitchen cabinets that is a Camembert box with red and gold scrolled filigree around it. And I have one with strutting roosters, and a red one with a decorative lid. They are empty, but I like the way they look. I have some wooden boxes, too. One with birds heavily carved on all sides. It is from Israel. And I have one carved with oxen pulling a wagon; from the Philippines. I have been known to stop on the side of the road and collect wooden wine boxes that have been put out for trash collection. No reason to let a perfectly good box go to waste. That's is my motto.

I also confess to having a habit of putting people into boxes—not literally, of course, but with the way I characterize them. It is easy to meet someone, and within a few moments, slap a label on them—angry woman, snob, subservient little man, intelligent guy, sure of himself—labels that I tend to stick with regardless of what comes next. Most of us do. First impressions happen within thirty seconds and tend to last. I ask myself, “Could someone know all of who I am in thirty seconds?” And, certainly, the answer is no, they could not. We cannot know what may have shaped the mood or the uncertainty of a person within thirty seconds or even thirty minutes. There are many facets to everyone, and we change, hopefully, over time. Are you the same person you were at, say, twenty?

Do you ever look across a distance and think you see someone you know, only to find, as you get closer that they are not who you thought? I did that just yesterday at the post office—I'm glad I didn't call out her name and then have to explain myself. We do this too with groups of people, with organizations, and with communities. We assume that our label applies equally to everyone in that cohort. Southerners, for instance, get lumped into the cohort labeled, “dumb rednecks.” For sure, there are some dumb rednecks in the South...and in the mid-west, and the south-west and everywhere else. I, on the other hand, know quite a few southerners who are intelligent, thoughtful people.

Our labels often say more about us than about the people who wear them. Even when our first impression is a positive one, we must realize that we are seeing only one aspect of that person in one moment of time. Every one of us is multi-faceted and complex. We should put all our labels into one of my fine boxes. And then, close the lid.

                                                In the Spirit,

                                                    Jane

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