Reward
and Punishment
“...the
reward for breathing is not applause but air, and the reward for
climbing is not promotion but new sight, and the reward for kindness
is not being seen as kind, but the electricity of giving that keeps
us alive.”
Mark
Nepo (The Book of Awakening)
My
girl-cousin, Sandy, has a little dog—a Yorkie named Bogart. She was
in the habit of letting him out the back door to do his business, and
giving him a treat as soon as he came back in. Being a smart little
fellow, he learned to anticipate the treat and stopped going into the back yard when she let him out. Instead, he stood on the steps and waited for
the door to open again so he could claim his treat. It became an
issue between them—with her demanding he go into the yard and do his business, and he,
waiting in earnest on the steps. The process of unlearning that
behavior was painful for both of them.
As
children, we learn quickly that when we do what Mommie wants, we
are rewarded, and when we break the rules, we are punished. It's
quite a shock then when, as adults, we do something good, or work
extra hard, and are not rewarded. Even more of a slap-in-the-face to
be passed over for the reward and watch someone else receive what
should be ours. We feel offended and hurt.
For
most of us, maturity takes a lifetime. But when we make progress in
that direction, the desire for reward-for-effort begins to diminish.
We find that the effort itself is the reward. We work because we love
working, we meditate because we love peacefulness and clarity; we
pray to feel the expansive oneness. Anyone who has ever served dinner
at a shelter for people who are homeless understands that when we
open our hearts to others, it is we who are blessed. When we give
without expectation of receiving, the giving itself is the reward.
Kindness connects us with the source of love, the only source there
is for a life worth living.
In
the spirit,
Jane
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