Saturday, March 9, 2013

Are you the master of your fate?


In Control

You can't control the length of your life—but you can control its width and depth. You can't control the contour of your face—but you can control its expression. You can't control the weather—but you can control the atmosphere of your mind. Why worry about things you can't control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you.”
                                                Author Unknown

Do you remember reading the poem, Invictus, by William Earnest Henley in high school? The last lines were, “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.” Henley, who was born in 1849, contracted tuberculosis of the bone at age 13, and at seventeen had his foot amputated as a result. His father died when he was nineteen, leaving behind a family of six children. Henley survived and lived a full and active life. He felt himself to be “the master of his fate” not because he prevented terrible things from happening, but because he didn't allow his loses limit the rest of his life.

We who have grown up in the age of modern psychology know that the things that happen to us as children shape us for the rest of our lives—for good or for ill. If we had a difficult childhood, one of poverty, neglect or abuse, we will have a harder time becoming a productive, healthy adult. But we've gone a little too far with the cause and effect of this theory. We have begun blaming a harsh upbringing for almost everything. The fact is, whether we overcome our difficult childhood—or not—is pretty much up to us. We can use it to justify all our actions, our failures and our addictions, or we can use it as motivation to create a better life. This is one area where we actually do have significant control.

We all know people who have overcome enormous odds, who go on to be champions in the game of life. I think of all our vets coming home after a decade of war with unimaginable injuries—young men and women who will live with those injuries for the rest of their lives. Some of them are choosing suicide because they cannot face what is ahead; and some of them are rising up and taking charge of their lives in spite of everything.

Truth be told, we are not in control of much that goes on in this world, but we can spend a lifetime learning how to be in control of ourselves. It is worthy work.

                                           In the spirit,
                                              Jane

No comments: