Balancing Karma

Resisting Negativity

“It's trying to answer that age old question that if we, as human beings, had the chance, would we do a better job the second time around? Would we be able to fix things, and how much would it affect other people? I always thought that was an interesting question.”

                                                      Erica Durance

I'd venture to say that every one of us has looked at some screw-up in our lives and thought, 'if I had the chance to do that again, I'd do it differently'. Every time we look back at a failure, a lost love, a painful and unnecessary argument, or a full-out temper tantrum, we yearn for a do-over. Sometimes, when we're lucky, we get the chance. Usually, it involves swallowing our pride, stuffing our egotism back into its cage, and saying, 'I'm sorry'. Then it takes hard work to bring about internal change.

My friend, Harry, gave me a lesson on this last Sunday. We were talking in our Sunday school class about karma, and how saying and doing negative things feels good in the moment, but generates an imbalance that has to be corrected—that is, negative karma. Speaking hateful, off-the-cuff words feels powerful coming out of our mouths, because they are backed up by the strength of our anger and cynicism. Most of the time, however, we regret our actions and wish we could take them back. Some of us habitually react with anger. It is the way we've learned to survive, or to get our way.

There are four necessary steps to change any habit: 1) Realize that you have the habit. 2) Refuse to act in the habitual way. 3) Relax into the pain of not reacting in the habitual way. 4) Refrain from reacting again in the habitual way. It is painful to change a habit, especially if it has worked for you. Not reacting in the habitual way feels like losing, or sacrificing power. But habits that hurt either you, or another person, like yelling and cursing, are worth changing. Those angry words or thoughts create negative karma that then has to be balanced—and balancing is also painful. Trust me--I've done a lot of back-peddling in my life. 

Do-overs aren't always possible. Sometimes the words we say in anger can't be taken back. Learning to manage our negativity is one way to resist the impulse to bite. It helps us to live more peacefully inside and outside—with ourselves and with others.

                                               In the spirit,

                                                 Jane