Ouch!

The Gift of Pain

“Pain is provocative. Pain pushes people to the edge, causing them to ask fundamental questions such as 'Why is this happening?' and 'How can this be fixed?' Pain brings out the best in people and the worst. Pain strips away all the illusions required to maintain the status quo.”

                         Barbara Brown Taylor (An Altar in the World)

I pride myself on walking two miles a day for exercise. (I can hear all the people of the world who regularly walk 20 miles to market saying, “Big deal!) Recently, as I have reported before, I was out for my morning walk, turned my ankle, and fell on the pavement. Hands and knees slammed down hard. When I had the courage to look, I saw that the skin was raked off one hand and one knee and the other knee had a nasty bruise rising to the surface. I got up and instead of going home and tending to my injuries, I stubbornly trudged onward. When I did make it back to the house, I cleaned up and bandaged my wounds and then went about my business as though nothing had happened. The next morning, I was really sore, but that did not deter me from doggedly taking my walk. By the third day, I could barely walk at all; any weight on the bruised knee was exceedingly painful. Besides that, I could not grip or lift anything with my left hand. Thus began three weeks of ice, rest, and elevate to reduce the pain and swelling.

I'm not the brightest starfish on the beach, but even I had to stop and ask myself some fundamental questions and face some difficult truths. I am not twenty-five any more. I have to add my age into the equation and, let me tell you, I hate that! I am fiercely independent and loath the notion that there is something I can't do anymore, or that I have to be 'careful' about myself. But pain has a way of focusing one's attention on the greater truths. It demands change in a way that one cannot ignore.

Throughout life, we measure change by painful episodes. We as a people, unfortunately, measure it by wars—before World War II, just after the Vietnam War, etc. In our individual lives, it is typically pain that drives our emotional and psychological growth—before my divorce, or after the heart attack, etc. Pain is purposeful, both as a motivator and as a sentinel. It lets you know when something has to change, when you cannot do things in the same old way any more.

Suffering is a fact of life. If you live long enough, you will experience it on every level of being. Though we don't love her, pain is our friend and the handmaiden of growth. She will guide you into your own depths, where you will learn who lives there. When you return to a state of health, you will be a different person; one who is stripped of illusions and delusions, and respectful of limitations and strengths.

I am taking my walks again, now with eyes wide open and watching the ground. I use a walking stick for balance. I feel like a fool, but I am a wiser fool than before the fall. Hope you're moving freely today.

                                            In the spirit,

                                             Jane