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Identity Crisis

“...You are not your occupation. You are not your achievements, you are not your failings, nor your health, wealth or status. All these things are connected with you, but are not you, for you do not cease to exist when these things disappear. Ultimately, who are you...”

                                      Gerard W. Hughes

I am attending a lecture series sponsored by the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Three mornings each week, a different presenter, usually someone from one of the local colleges or a noted business leader, speaks on a topic that is dear to their hearts, or is part of their area of research or expertise. All the attendees are retired people and most of them are decades older than I am. When the leaders introduce a new member, or a guest, they go to great lengths to tell what that person's job was when they were employed—especially the men. It seems that without their credentials and employment history, they are not worth telling about, even though most of them haven't worked in twenty years!

We perpetuate a myth in our culture that says you are what you do (or did)—doctor, lawyer, businesswoman, professor. Think where that leaves you when you don't have that identifier any more; when you retire, or god-forbid, lose your job. How about when a health issue or medical disability renders you unable to perform that job—who are you then? Some people feel as though they've lost the very essence of themselves. For some, retirement is the same as death.

This is why it is critical to have a broader picture of exactly who you are—one that doesn't include the usual labels. In retirement, or as an unemployed person, you are still you. You still have all the same parts and particulars. You even have an opportunity to create a new you who is able to do all the things you dreamed of doing when you were tied to a job. If you've been a productive person all your life, you may want to learn to be productive in a different way. Playing golf everyday, or bridge three times a week, is engaging for a while, but gets boring over the long term.

Ultimately, you are a child of God; unique and precious even when you have no labels. Detaching from the 'work identity' is a necessity for a happy retirement and, in my opinion, for a healthy sense of self.

                                                In the spirit,

                                                   Jane