"Who are you...who...who..."

Who said that?

“I am not I.

                I am this one

Walking beside me whom I do not see,

Whom at times I manage to visit,

And whom at other times I forget;

The one who remains silent when I talk,

The one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,

The one who takes a walk where I am not,

The one who will remain standing when I die.”

                Juan Ramon Jimeniz (I am not I—translated by Robert Bly)

Do you ever feel as though you are more than one person? Who is it that feels shame when you say something hateful? Who reprimands you? Who is it that has a running monolog inside your head when you are silent at your work? Who is it that winces when you make a stupid mistake, but who prevents you from admitting it when you are confronted? Who is that other person inside you that talks back?

You will encounter her/him in your dreams—images of another known or unknown man or woman. People, often, whom you don't recognize, but just as often, someone dredged up from your memory banks. Someone you hadn't thought about in years until, bang, there they are in your dream. You wake up thinking, 'what on earth—where did she come from'?

They carry aspects of you that you have relegated to the basement of your psyche, either because you don't like them, or because they aren't your strong suit. The one who is hurt when someone doesn't call, for instance. The one who whines inside, when you hate whiners. Sometimes they are people you admire, but see as radically different from you. The ones you say, 'oh, I could never be like him' about. They are parts of you that are not recognized by you.

There is value in getting acquainted with this cast of characters. Sometimes they contain your strength, your insight, your sense of humor. Sometimes they carry your secret fears, your unbidden prejudices, your old tapes from childhood. Like home videos they play out the party line from your family of origin, even though you have long abandoned that way of being in the world. Watching, listening and bringing their personality components into your walking-around life can fill in the holes, make you a whole person instead of a stranger in a strange land.

Do you have a compassionate side, a funny side, a side that makes you blush? Do you hear your father's voice inside your head? Your mother's? Don't be afraid to tune-in to this inner community. They belong to you. They have important things to teach you about yourself.

                                           In the spirit,

                                           Jane