Creating Calm

Managing Stress

“Our emotional responses to stress are perhaps the most revealing indication of our ability to function well. Well-being, or normality, is often defined by psychologists as just that—the ability to interact effectively with our environment.”
Malcolm Godwin

Everyone has stress in their lives every day. Just getting out of bed in the morning and going out into our world is stressful. Some of us are hardwired for anxiety and nervousness. We have to take extra precautions to guard against unusual or overwhelming stress in order to function well. Some of us seem impervious to external stress; can live and even thrive in a climate of fast-moving, loud and aggressive scheduling, but internal stress, gnawing doubts or blinding jealousy can bring us to our knees. How we manage the stress inherent in life will be a determinant of our overall health and longevity.

Knowing your stress limit is a life-skill. What kind of environment is necessary for you to thrive? What sort of activity and inactivity, silence or stimulation, is required for you to function well? How can you organize your work life and home life to maximize and optimize your stress tolerance? These are important questions to ask in choosing a career as well as choosing a mate. The better we know ourselves, the smarter decisions we can make.

Think how much healthier our relationships would be if we went into them with a deeper appreciation of the very nature of the other. When, for example, I as an introvert, understand that you, as an extrovert, need more stimulation and interaction with other people than I do. I would not feel so threatened by your out-going personality. And you, as an extrovert, can accept that I, as an introvert, need quiet, alone time. You would see that, not as withdrawal from you, but as taking care of me. Life would not be stress free, but certainly would be calmer.

Stress is not going away. Forcing oneself into relationships and professions that are ill-suited to one’s nature is a recipe for failure. Making an honest appraisal of our particular personality and adapting our lifestyle to support it is one way of managing stress wisely. We all march to our own drum, and knowing your special rhythm is a hallmark of emotional maturity.

Shalom,
Jane