A Day Free of Fear

Monsters in the Closet

“Some monsters simply will not go away. They are too big to walk around, too powerful to overcome, too clever to outsmart.  The only way to deal with them is to move toward them, with them, into them, through them.  We must learn to befriend some of these primitive powers that seem so much like enemies.  In the process, we will find them working for us, not against us, working for life, not for death.”

                                  Parker Palmer (The Active Life)

         Outward Bound, a wilderness survival and outdoor challenge program, has as its motto, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it.”  In other words, confronting and moving into fear and dread is the surest way to liberation from it.

Years ago, I had a series of dreams, nightmares really, that will serve to demonstrate.  In the first dream, I was sleeping and heard a noise outside at my front door.  I went to the door and peeped out.  A tall, dark figure dressed all in black was standing, looking back at me. His eyes were sunk deep into a black cowl, invisible and terrifying.  I awoke in a sweat, heart pounding.  In another dream, I heard the noise and went to the door.  He was there just as before, but this time, I swung the door open really fast and knocked him off the porch.  I was afraid, but also angry.  In the third dream, I was walking down a street and he was following me.  I looked back and realized that he was gaining on me and that I would not be able to outrun him.  I wheeled and faced him and asked, “What do you want?”  He came closer, close enough for me to see that there was nothing inside the cowl.  I reached out and yanked it away and there inside was a small child.  There was nothing at all terrifying about the child.  I took his hand and we continued down the street.  In my waking life, I felt freer and lighter, and I never had the dream again.

I’m not naïve enough to think that there are no real monsters out there.  There certainly are, but most of the time it is our fear that paralyzes us and not the reality of a monster.  One good way of confronting fear is through therapy.  In lieu of therapy, another way is through active imagination.  In the middle of the day, in a place where you feel safe, confront the fear.  Give it an image if you can.  Ask it some pointed questions such as “Why are tormenting me?” and “What do you want from me?” and “What are you trying to teach me?  It is your fear, after all.  It should be answerable to you.  It will give you answers to your questions.  Then ask it to help you overcome your fear.  Ask it to befriend you. 

Overcoming fear by moving into it frees you up emotionally. It releases the energy that you are using to defend yourself.  Afterward, you will have extra energy to power through your day.  I wish you a day free of fear.

                          Shalom,

                          Jane