Let's Get it Done!

American Outrage

“In the curious reverse language of psychoanalysis, the depressive position is considered a developmental achievement because it acknowledges the feelings that come with an acceptance of separateness.  The ability to see things the way they are, not to expect constant gratification but to understand that all things are limited, is what allows for personal growth.”

                                  Mark Epstein, M.D.

         We Americans have been taught from the cradle that “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are our birthright.  We expect life to continue forever on an upward trajectory.  We hate being kept waiting, being frustrated, being impeded in any way.  We are enraged by traffic, long lines, and power outages of more than two seconds.  We have a hard time accepting responsibility for ourselves, our choices and the consequences of our behavior.  When things go badly, we are quick to place blame outside ourselves—the government, the President, the Congress, the courts, the banks, doctors, lawyers, etc.  When we create a “bubble” for ourselves, we expect it never to burst, even though we know that it is the very nature of bubbles to burst.  We are way overdue for a good case of “depressive position.”

         It may sound like giving up to our ears, it may feel like having the breath knocked out of us, but it is a first step toward correcting the problem.  Depressive position is that place in any lifetime, personal or collective, where we stop demanding that things be the way they “should” be, and begin accepting that things are the way they are.  It is the point at which we move beyond anger and fear, and ask, “Okay, how do we make things better.”  It may not have the energy that anger does, but it is the way out.  It is well to remember that all things are time limited—good and bad.  We can put the energy we are using to power our outrage into finding solutions to our very real problems, or we can continue to send that energy out in blame and shame and get nowhere.

As Americans, we are fortunate to have choices.  We can do this, y’all.

                 Keeping the faith,

                 Jane