Being Connected

Loneliness and Solitude

“Language…has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone.  And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”

                                  Paul Tillich

         Loneliness is an epidemic of our time.  Even in this day of constant connectedness, we are lonelier than we’ve ever been.  There is a salt-water ocean of difference between loneliness and solitude.  Loneliness can occur even when we live in close proximity to other people, in the same house, going to a crowded work place, belonging to many organizations.  Loneliness stems from the suspicion that we are not known, that we are not loved or even recognized for who we are.  It happens in marriages and other committed relationships everyday. 

         Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious seeking of time alone.  Choosing to spend time alone in order to catch up with oneself is a rarity in our busy lives.  Most people find it hard to set aside even an hour for solitude, especially people who live within a family.  Children, spouse, animals, commitments, responsibilities—all compete for one’s attention, leaving little time for oneself. 

         I have a theory that it is this very lack of solitude that leads to feelings of loneliness.  When we make no time to bring our thoughts, our energy, our consciousness back to self, we actually lose touch with our very core.  We become estranged from our innermost selves.  We long for something and don’t know what it is we long for. We are not alone, and yet we are lonely.  What we long for is contact with our own souls.  We need to be recognized by ourselves, known for exactly who we are.  If we don’t know ourselves, how can we expect others to know and love us?

         Making time for one’s soul in the course of a busy life is crucial to wholeness and health.  Taking time to simply sit and think, to journal, to create something, to listen to quiet music, or whatever it is that brings you home to yourself is as important to your physical and mental health as being with family or friends. 

                                  Keeping the faith,

                                  Jane