“Cousins”
“Other things may change, but we start and end with family.”
Anthony Brandt
“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each person is in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”
Tich Nhat Hanh
My girl-cousin, Sandy, and I have been close for as long as I can remember. I have a picture of me at three holding the hand of toddler Sandy who is still in diapers. She is the only person who always remembers my birthday, and calls me to talk when she’s hurt or worried about something. She sat with me many hours in hospitals and nursing homes and provided a loving presence at the funerals of every other member of my family. Two days ago, we made a pilgrimage to the cemetery to put flowers on their graves. It was a sweltering ninety-eight degrees, but she did not complain.
Sandy and I have almost nothing in common. She’s mathematically minded--a professional engineer until her recent retirement. I can barely balance my checkbook. She’s tall and blonde and beautiful, while I am squat and not. She lives in a lavish house on a gated golf course, and needless to say, I do not. She loves to shop and buys gifts all year for everybody she knows. I’d rather be shot dead than shop for anything. She is extroverted and out-going and I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert. All we have between us is a deep and abiding love that will last until we are both dead and gone, and probably beyond, though she’s most likely going to heaven and I’m,…well, you know.
Whatever we think about our family, and most of us groan a lot, they are our closest others. Our genes are almost identical and we share a common heritage that is understood without the necessity of words. I am grateful everyday for Sandy
With a grateful heart,
Jane
3 comments:
My cousin Larry and I are close in that way. It's a male thing, of course, but very similar. I love being with him. He's a great talker and raconteur, for one thing, and then it's fun to revert back to the cavalier southern conversational style we were raised in. High wit, very arch, playfully archaic and euphuistic in the old Southern manner. Then there's our personal shorthand, made up of allusions to things only we know--family stuff going back generations, experiences we had growing up, people, places, and on and on. "Brothers" and "sisters" like Larry and Sandy are so valuable to us.
I like this.
Me too
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