Tell me your story.

What’s Your Story?

“Storytelling is imaginative and creative in nature.  It is an act by which man strives to realize his capacity for wonder, meaning, and delight.  It is also an act in which man invests and preserves himself in the context of ideas.  Man tells stories in order to understand his experience, whatever it may be.  The possibilities of storytelling are precisely those of understanding the human experience.”

                                  N. Scott Momaday

         I grew up in the mountains of North Carolina where there exists a long history of storytelling.  I’m sure this was an oral tradition brought over by the Irish and Scots who settled the mountains and was also a practice of the Native Americans in the area.  The tradition prospered because for a couple hundred years there were few schools, fewer books and little contact with the outside world.  Dinner time in our household was the only time in the day when the whole family came together and usually involved not only stories of the day, but old stories too.  My Uncle Jerry was a particularly funny storyteller so we always loved for him to be at our table.  He made us laugh so hard it hurt. 

         As a counselor, I loved hearing people’s stories, not just the painful parts, but also the ‘full of life’ ones.  We all have a story to tell that is unique to us.  My sister, Jerrie, and I lived in the same family, even shared a room, but we had entirely different takes on the family dynamics and dissimilar memories of what happened and when.  We argued endlessly about who was right, and of course, we both were because our stories were filtered through our particular lens of understanding.  I have learned that memory is notoriously flawed and not to be trusted as accurate.  What I remember is colored by my singular perceptions and my limited human experience.

         And, yet, it is important to tell one’s story.  One of the many things the Twelve-Step groups do right is to have people tell their stories before witnesses.  By telling one’s story within a group that will not judge, one feels validated and healing can begin to take place.  In the telling of our stories, we see ourselves-- our personalities--emerge; we can name our role, describe what life is like from our vantage point, and discover our rightful place in the human family.  We can also take responsibility for our lives, our loves, our mistakes, our achievements and our future.  Stories have a beginning, middle, and an end; they have a wholeness to them that resonates within our psyches.  If you haven’t told your story, I encourage you to do so.  If you don’t have a group who will listen, then write it down in a journal.  It is good to begin with your first memories and write what you remember about each year.  Take your time; allow the story to unfold on its own.  Every person’s story is sacred and deserves to be told.

                                  Keeping the faith,

                                  Jane