Moving on.

Learning to Let Go

“As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.”
                              -- Julia Butterfly Hill

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”
                              -- Raymond Lindquist

        Don’t you hate it when someone says to you, “you just have to let that go;” or here in the Bible belt, it’s usually, “just give that to the Lord.”  Even Dr. Phil, bless his heart, said, “Stand up and walk out of your history.”  If only it were that easy.  The truth is, if we could stand up and walk out of our history, most of us would, but we are our history.  That would be equivalent to standing up and walking out of one’s body.  Which is not to say that one should cling to one’s past and drag it around like a sack of rocks.  Too many of us bond with our wounds, and relationships of that ilk cannot tolerate healing. 

        Letting go of one’s history is not possible, but letting go of allowing it to control one’s life is.  The first step is acknowledging the facts:  I did not have a perfect childhood; my parents did not treat me as they should have; I was not as attractive, smart, charming, etc. as I might have been.  Some of us were abused, abandoned, beaten; some of us have lost everything, including children, spouses, parents, homes, jobs and health.  We feel sad and sorry for ourselves for exceptionally good reasons.  The problem with wallowing in our wounds is that it’s a static position.  As long as we give energy to our misfortunes, we are stuck.  So here is what I say; have a good wallow.  Really get down and dirty and feel pitiful and forlorn.  And then get up and wash yourself off and get on with your life.  Say to yourself, 'Yes, it happened and it hurt, but I am choosing not to let it define who I am.'  Someone once said, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

                              Blessings,

                              Jane