Joy and Sorrow
“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”
“Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is sleeping upon your bed.”
Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet
A statistic that I quoted often to my psychology students came from a website about “laughter clubs.” The statistic cited the number of times children under the age of five laugh in a day at 300+. By the time we reach adulthood, it is fewer than 15. Somewhere between five and twenty-one, we lose our laughter. You may be thinking that as we know more about the world, its wars and inequities, we naturally become more serious. This is true, but some people seem to laugh and cry more easily than others---and those two things are linked. A woman where I worked whose name was Sheri, had a raucous belly laugh could be heard anywhere in the building; it was loud and lusty and she laughed often. One day in spring, her husband of thirty years received a cancer diagnosis and by summer he was dead. That loss stilled her laughter; replaced it with almost constant tears for several months. The building seemed unnaturally quiet, bleak. I was happy when her laughter returned though I usually had to close my classroom door to be heard.
Laughter is good medicine, and believe it or not, good exercise. A three minute belly laugh is a good work out for the chest and abdominal muscles. It clears out the lungs and sets off a cascade of ‘feel-good’ brain chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and enkephalin. It increases circulation and just makes you feel good all over. A good cry can have the same effect, especially when it’s caused by being moved by “unspeakable love.” Some of the wonderful things that can make me cry include beautiful music, a breathtaking sunset, and the preciousness of a child.
What, or who, makes you laugh or cry? When my sons get together and start playing off each other, they can have me laughing and crying at the same time. They tell silly stories, mostly lies, that get sillier and more outrageous as they go along. I read a book recently, a true story about a woman starting over after a painful divorce. She bought a ramshackle house by the sea and, because her young daughter wanted them, a small flock of chickens! The title of the book is, Still Life with Chickens, and it had me howling on an airplane full of people. We serious adults have to take laughter where we can get it, and thank God for it when it comes. The fact that joy is inextricably linked to sorrow makes it all the sweeter. I hope you find something to laugh about today.
In all things give thanks,
Jane
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