Reframing Reality
“To reframe, step back from what is being said and done and consider the frame or ‘lens’ through which this reality is being created…Then consider alternative lenses, effectively saying, ‘Let’s look at it another way.’”
Changing Minds.Com
My son and I are about to have a yard sale. All week, we’ve been moving “stuff” from his storage unit to my house, which has space for such an event. To say it is a mess would be a silly understatement. And hard work! OMG my back is protesting loudly about that sofa we moved yesterday. Everything in me is grouchy—especially since I have never made money to speak of by having a yard sale. So, I’m scrambling this morning, pricing day (sigh), to reframe this event to be something positive.
It has provided an opportunity for me to spend time with my son. Who knows when that will happen again? And, it has broken me out of my little routine and self-centered pace, and forced me to be more active—my waistline will be happy about that. And, it is an affordable way of supporting my son and daughter-in-law. And, God willing, we’ll get rid of a lot of “stuff.”
Now, I feel better. I once had a therapist who was very good at reframing; she could give whatever whiny situation I brought into therapy a quarter turn and make it sound like a grand opportunity. Sometimes it drove me crazier, but frequently, it helped me get over myself. Often the only way out of a bad situation is to imagine the possible boons that will come of it—like building character, and broadening one’s vision, and such. I could tell myself that listening to someone quibble over a $.50 item is character building, but myself would not believe it.
Reframing can turn a problem into an opportunity, a weakness into a strength, and unkindness into lack of understanding. On Saturday, when someone tells me that $1.00 is too much to pay for that Tiffany style lamp, I will tell myself that I just don’t understand where they are coming from, and that I am developing the strength of compassion in knocking down the price. Yeah, right!
Unredeemed in Alabama
Jane
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